I somehow missed it. I knew I was going to the Los Angeles Film Festival’s debut of the film, but I really did not comprehend the part about it being a ‘premiere’. I saw the recommendation of cocktail attire in the invitation and thought to myself, “Well that can mean anything these days.”
When we arrived at the venue, it was clear to see that what it did NOT mean was white corduroy pants and a black 3/4 sleeve t-shirt, with a brown belt and my worn black boots which have been fitted with orthopedic inserts. They are the only alternative to wearing sneakers when I am having a flare … the details of which I will one day explain.
People looked gorgeous in the way that Los Angelenos are famous for: glamorous dresses by every designer one could name, glorious jewelry, hair swept up, brows emphasized, and lips bolded in red. The men were also dashing in tailored suits and elegant sweaters.
By comparison, I looked like I was headed to pick up take-out at a burger joint. Thank God I wore jewelry and had brought a decent white coat which I respectfully wore during the reception, though it was sweltering in the theater. It served me right to have to sweat it out a little. I will pay better attention next time.
I used to go to events on a regular basis, and I never had a stylist, so I was always winging it. Those efforts were sometimes successful, but I made my way onto many a ‘Worst Dressed’ list, and it always stung a bit.
Now I am just grateful to be on the ‘Still Alive’ list.
Grateful.
I have been thinking a lot about gratitude. It is true that it is an essential component to a happy life. Gratitude is the mortal enemy of self-pity, and self-pity can and will kill you if indulged in to excess. Gratitude is sometimes given too much credit though, as if just by being thankful one can be transformed.
One cannot appease poverty with appreciation. Disease is not impressed by salutation. Being grateful will not get you educated at a bad school or treated fairly by folks who wield bigotry towards your person.
Grateful is good, but angry has its place.
It can be terrible, of course. Sometimes I think Fox News exists just to hawk burglar alarms and home defense systems. “The others are ‘out there’, and they are coming for your stuff,” is their constant refrain. Their red-faced entertainers constantly tell folks to be afraid and that fear is dangerous.
We saw the results of that angry rhetoric and fiery damnation on January 6th, as folks worked themselves into a self-righteous frenzy of rage and malice. Those folks have forever redefined the moniker ‘Sore Loser’.
Anger can be good too, though. Necessary. A sign that folks are paying attention.
We have seen over and over that protest can lead us to progress. We must remain vigilant, and we must keep our eyes and ears open to the suffering of our fellows; grateful for what we have, aware of what others don’t. There is no peace where there is no justice.
As exhausting as our election cycles are, we cannot just rest in between these over-financed duels. We need a better system, one where the concept of ‘one person, one vote’ has actual meaning. We need to fight for serious electoral reforms and fair access to the ballot box for every citizen in every state.
Can we be satisfied with reproductive rights for some women and not others? Can we accept corruption in our courts? Is it enough to teach the truth of our history in some classrooms but not in every school?
I am ever grateful for this precious life, aware of my good fortunes, and deeply thankful to all of you for joining me here on these pages.
Happy Happy Thanksgiving!
I am angry too, and determined to continue to fight for a better city, state, country, world, for all to live in.
The movie I was so woefully attired to attend was called Women Talking. It is at once quite bold and deeply intimate. The movie is based on a true story of the women in a religious sect deciding how to cope with relentless abuse by the males. It is beautifully acted and directed. My friend, quite rightly introduced as the great Judith Ivey, took my breath away with her wise and wonderful performance.
The actors are as plain in the movie as they were glamorous at its premiere. Their dress was cumbersome and unflattering, the hairstyles severe, beautiful faces bare. The garb is at once a testament to faith and a reflection of the often-conflicting impulses of salvation and repression. See it if you can.
“Will the right people see this?” I asked my friend Jeffrey on the way to the car. “I mean will it just be people who are already sympathetic to its message?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he replied. “Doesn’t matter if the whole world sees it or if makes its way into one breaking heart. There are women all over the world struggling with this kind of situation. If it changes one life, it was worth making.”
That is as true of activism as it is of art. It is always a leap of faith. An act of love …
On we go …
Beth, You are elegant in whatever you are wearing! I love your writings. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you for quoting me, and not mentioning that I was as under dressed as you were! I love all the threads you will wove into this beautiful story! I am grateful for you.