I love this. You will never know for sure the comfort you gave, but we have to try in these situations. Its necessary for our own well being as well as others.
Ah yes, the journey on the flight to get there before the last (or the “transition” as they say these days). No one knows what you’re going through, and you can’t turn to your never-met seat mate and just start blubbering. It was a kindness that keeps us human to let that young man know he could have his space, but you were willing to listen and give him a hug.
My flight to visit my father for his birthday had been on the calendar for months…as I went through the last traffic signal into Burbank Airport, my sister’s phone number lit up my screen. “Oh no,” I thought. Sister, “Dad passed.” The rest of the family was already there, for the birthday, and they were all there for the transition. Who on the airplane knew I was carrying such news at top of mind? No one. It’s a lonely place. When I arrived at the house, a paid caregiver set aside the broom she was sweeping the kitchen floor with, gave me a tight hug, and said, “I’m so sorry. It was a good death.” I wasn’t sure what a good death was but I did know I needed that hug.
Hey all of you who are enrolled in Medicare, let your family-friends what you want for your own transition…all of us knew what Dad wanted, and it was a gift for all of us. He died one day before his 84th birthday, and he had said he wanted steak for his birthday dinner. We cooked a steak dinner and sang, “Happy Birthday.” I realized I was an orphan at 61…death in the family brings up a lot of new thoughts and feelings. Thank you for your post.
I am so sorry that you were not able to be there for your Dad's passing. He knew you were on the way and I am sure he was still present in the there when you arrived. Thanks for reading and for sharing your story. xo On we go ...
What you did for him was an act of courage in these days. I can't remember the last time I sat next to a person I didn't know on a plane and said more than a couple of sentences. That used to be a time to have a conversation on the plane -- where are you from, what are you going to do when you get there, what do you do ...
You had the courage to interact with a stranger, even though s/he might be likely to say, "None of your damn business."
This was a lovely story of kindness and also of validating our emotions in a culture that prizes emotional stoicism in a way. To show emotion is considered a weakness. Recently, I find myself expressive with my sadness and fear and grief. It's new to me - i am starting at midlife. The rest of my life I went through it showing no emotion or only in extreme private.
It can be scary to be emotional but it's where the truth lied for so many of us. AS I get older my emotions are cresting nearer the surface. Both good and bad. I appreciate them all. I hope you keep expressing your feelings. They are our guides.
Not only will this young man always remember what you did for him, I too am encouraged just reading this account of sweet kindness on your part. Yes we do make it through due in large part to folks such as yourself who by word and example remind us all to just be kind.
Christina in sunny Georgia (at least for the moment)
P.S. The “actor” you mention in this post is menso. No, more like idiota.
Before your heart broke for him and you helped him, you first had to be observant and aware of the people around you. Often we’re too busy or too tired or just lost in our own thoughts to look around and really see people. So thank you for reminding us to do that. At the end of the day, all we really have is each other.
Tears streaming down my face with this post. I am so happy you were there for him. Your description of him typing away during the flight reminds me of my just graduated son. So this triggered my maternal side. He will never forget your act of kindness. When you lead with kindness ... Years ago I started reminding friends, family the woman behind me at Kroger "never regret an opportunity to be kind.
We need more kindness in the world and each and everyone of us has the power to generate it!
laura in Colorado under a snow filled skyline today!
I just want to punch your co-star on the nose, he ain't no gentleman
I love this. You will never know for sure the comfort you gave, but we have to try in these situations. Its necessary for our own well being as well as others.
Yes I think that is very true.
Ah yes, the journey on the flight to get there before the last (or the “transition” as they say these days). No one knows what you’re going through, and you can’t turn to your never-met seat mate and just start blubbering. It was a kindness that keeps us human to let that young man know he could have his space, but you were willing to listen and give him a hug.
My flight to visit my father for his birthday had been on the calendar for months…as I went through the last traffic signal into Burbank Airport, my sister’s phone number lit up my screen. “Oh no,” I thought. Sister, “Dad passed.” The rest of the family was already there, for the birthday, and they were all there for the transition. Who on the airplane knew I was carrying such news at top of mind? No one. It’s a lonely place. When I arrived at the house, a paid caregiver set aside the broom she was sweeping the kitchen floor with, gave me a tight hug, and said, “I’m so sorry. It was a good death.” I wasn’t sure what a good death was but I did know I needed that hug.
Hey all of you who are enrolled in Medicare, let your family-friends what you want for your own transition…all of us knew what Dad wanted, and it was a gift for all of us. He died one day before his 84th birthday, and he had said he wanted steak for his birthday dinner. We cooked a steak dinner and sang, “Happy Birthday.” I realized I was an orphan at 61…death in the family brings up a lot of new thoughts and feelings. Thank you for your post.
I am so sorry that you were not able to be there for your Dad's passing. He knew you were on the way and I am sure he was still present in the there when you arrived. Thanks for reading and for sharing your story. xo On we go ...
What you did for him was an act of courage in these days. I can't remember the last time I sat next to a person I didn't know on a plane and said more than a couple of sentences. That used to be a time to have a conversation on the plane -- where are you from, what are you going to do when you get there, what do you do ...
You had the courage to interact with a stranger, even though s/he might be likely to say, "None of your damn business."
Just felt like the right thing to do. We are all in this together whether we admit it or not
He was a sweet kid. My heart hurt for him.
This was a lovely story of kindness and also of validating our emotions in a culture that prizes emotional stoicism in a way. To show emotion is considered a weakness. Recently, I find myself expressive with my sadness and fear and grief. It's new to me - i am starting at midlife. The rest of my life I went through it showing no emotion or only in extreme private.
It can be scary to be emotional but it's where the truth lied for so many of us. AS I get older my emotions are cresting nearer the surface. Both good and bad. I appreciate them all. I hope you keep expressing your feelings. They are our guides.
Not only will this young man always remember what you did for him, I too am encouraged just reading this account of sweet kindness on your part. Yes we do make it through due in large part to folks such as yourself who by word and example remind us all to just be kind.
Christina in sunny Georgia (at least for the moment)
P.S. The “actor” you mention in this post is menso. No, more like idiota.
He was definitely menso! I’m sure the young man will be ok but my heart broke for him that night.
Before your heart broke for him and you helped him, you first had to be observant and aware of the people around you. Often we’re too busy or too tired or just lost in our own thoughts to look around and really see people. So thank you for reminding us to do that. At the end of the day, all we really have is each other.
That is so true.
HI Beth,
Tears streaming down my face with this post. I am so happy you were there for him. Your description of him typing away during the flight reminds me of my just graduated son. So this triggered my maternal side. He will never forget your act of kindness. When you lead with kindness ... Years ago I started reminding friends, family the woman behind me at Kroger "never regret an opportunity to be kind.
We need more kindness in the world and each and everyone of us has the power to generate it!
laura in Colorado under a snow filled skyline today!
Laura thank you for your sweet response and your determination to promote kindness. I truly appreciate you!
This was very beautiful, a good lesson for all of us