Wit and Wisdom
by Beth Broderick
Ed is packed up. All of his belongings sit in a cardboard box near the foot of his bed. He is in his 90’s now, and his mind has been playing tricks on him for some time. His loving wife Marj sees him as often as possible at the memory care facility where he now resides. Upon discovering the box, she carefully and gently unpacked his belongings every time she visited him, placing them in the empty dresser meant to house them, but she has given that up of late.
She used to regularly bring toiletries and other supplies, but has learned that Ed has been conducting what he calls a “garage sale” at the home and distributing them to his fellow residents. He does not need extra razors or toothpaste because, though he has no idea where he would go, he is certain that he is not staying. So, she has given that up as well, replacing things only as needed.
Ed is packed up and ready to go, and that is just that.
Like many people with a family member who is experiencing dementia, Marj has learned to accept Ed’s new reality. She has been married to the man for over 60 years and tries to hold this new version of him as near to her heart as is humanly possible. That is love, true and deep and dear, sometimes hilarious, and often maddening--you know--like love.
Bless you, Marj. I am holding you and Ed in my heart always.
UNITED.
In these last few tumultuous years, many of my friends and fellow Americans have been metaphorically packing up. A lot of us have said aloud that if ‘so and so gets elected’ or ‘such and such happens’, well, then we are ready to go. I am not sure where folks think they are going. Lots of talk about Canada, Portugal, or Mérida Mexico, but we were born here, and learned how to be the humans we are here. So, I am pretty certain that no matter where we go, this place will always be home, at least on a cellular level.
There are a lot of maxims and memes floating about that make it easy to despair.
“WE ARE A NATION DIVIDED!”
Well, are we? Really? We are a nation comprising individuals who do not always see the world the same way, but even at our worst, we have managed to cobble together enough consensus to go the distance for a good long time now. We have maintained a huge, thriving economy, and on average, a higher quality of life than most of the nations of the world.
Most folks belong to one party or another because they were born into it. Much like religion or region, we are deeply influenced by our origins. Of course, the lion’s share of the wars in human history were fought over divisions of faith. The war between the Catholics and the Protestants in Ireland cost countless lives and divided that nation for centuries. It seems almost surreal to think about, but it is a defining part of that country’s history. Fortunately for that great nation, religious discord no longer predicts their political future.
America’s great promise to forge a separation between church and state was meant to prevent such a thing from happening in the first place.
I have friends who practice a wide variety of faiths. I also have friends from very diverse political backgrounds, not to mention family members who are directly opposed to my viewpoint, whose every vote, in effect, cancels mine and vice versa. These are people I care about. That I love. The idea that being of one persuasion or another makes any of us enemies is absurd.
In a democracy, we don’t declare war on folks from a different party or those who have a different agenda.
Our job is to persuade a majority of people to concur with our side of the issue and get them to back our candidate if we can. Oh, and to vote. Every single time in every single election, and to accept the outcome. The whole concept of democracy is based on the acceptance of the will of the majority.
You cannot influence our future if you cut and run. Just sayin’. Though a year or two in San Miguel de Allende does sound tempting.
GIVE ME LIBERTY.
The press has not been helpful here. The relentless negativity is exhausting. They are forever baiting us with alarming headlines hoping to attract eyeballs. That’s the game; that’s where the money is, gotta get those clicks. A glance at the news of the day on my feed is the stuff of nightmares. It feels like the editors scan the globe looking for the most atrocious stories they can hawk. News outlets feature ads selling every kind of home-protection gizmo one can think of because it’s good business for them when we are afraid … of anything, of everything, but, most important, of one another
Fear sells. It is one of the biggest motivators of human behavior. It is in fact the biggest one. Fear will make us react even more quickly than anger, which is pretty hair-trigger stuff. Both will make us react far more quickly than love, which is a sad fact about the human condition. Still, I believe in love …. in its ability to, every once in a while, win the day.
I have been guilty in the past of writing very partisan political screeds. I was often featured on the front page of the Huffington Post, whose readership hungered for that sort of thing at the time. I realize now that I was only preaching to the choir, only reaching the folks who already agreed with me, and discounting the views of those who didn’t and most likely still don’t. I was right, of course, by my measures, but as I get older, I have begun to believe that being right is overrated.
I have avoided politics on these pages for that very reason. I will no longer attempt to tell anyone what agenda to believe in, or whom to vote for, any more than I would tell them how to worship. That said, there is one political issue at hand that I think we can all agree needs to be addressed, the solving of which would go a long way towards healing our political “divide.” Maybe if we can work together to unpack this one problem, we can find our way back to a more civil discourse … to feeling more at home in our home.
Money. It’s got to go. There is too much money floating around in our politics. Too darned much.
Several of the upcoming races for seats in the United States Senate are predicted to cost over 200 million dollars each.
200 MILLION DOLLARS. In Montana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Each.
Each. I have cousins in Ohio who will absolutely vote for candidates I would never dream of supporting, but I am fairly certain that they do not want to see 250 million dollars spent in their state for one election cycle. I am pretty sure we could all think of better ways to spend that kind of money. Better roads and bridges, higher pay for teachers and law enforcement personnel, serious innovations in transit and increased support for childcare just as starters.
Those are things we can all agree on. No matter what side of the aisle you stand on, you have the power to select candidates who agree that campaign finance reform is essential. Make them swear to work towards a solution, and hold them to it. People will tell you it’s pointless to try. They are wrong. It is pointless not to try. It is ridiculous to continue this outrageous waste of our time and treasure.
Other nations have succeeded in instituting publicly financed elections. I might not be smart enough to know how to parse the particulars of this, but someone out there is. Money has often been called “the root of all evil.” I think that’s a tad dramatic, but I do believe that the influence it has on our politics is harming our country and in doing so, our sense of who, what, and where we are.
Whatever your party, whichever your faith or belief system, no matter which region you hail from, you are a part of the American story. Instead of packing up and threatening to pack it in, let us commit to working together to make this one-of-a-kind country a better and more peaceful place.
The great aspirations of democracy can only be achieved through the faithful efforts of its citizens. It needs our input, begs us to continue to mold it, to perfect it. There is an old saying: “All politics is local.” I would add: “All politics is personal.” The best politics is founded in mutual respect and, yes, love. The best politics can only be achieved when we bring the best of ourselves to the table and make room for each other in our hearts.
On we go …
P.S. It is not my intention to write about politics on a regular basis, but 200 million dollars spent to chase a little over 600,000 votes makes my head explode.
Here is a link to my last hurrah on the Huffington Post in case you want to read some highly opinionated political commentary. I wrote it shortly after Donald J. Trump was elected to the presidency. I am happy to be here now on kinder, gentler pages, but boy howdy was I right back then, if you care about that sort of thing.
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Wow! That seem to have been building for a bit. There is nothing more I fear than to succumb to dementia, having experienced it personally and through work.
Politics, when I can't even get my children to vote, "what's the point, they are all the same" and I realise they are. 2 party systems only really want the status quo but one side having benefits. Not to interfere in another countries Politics, when he was running for office my then 13 Yr old grandson was worried about him winning.
There are a number of suggestions as to a candidate for the eighth deadly sin...one is, "The Need to be Right." We do need to make room for each other in our hearts and have mutual respect for each other, and all of us need to let go of having to be right. It's very hard to have political discourse (or an intimate relationship) when one party to the discussion just has to be right--even if 7 million American votes said otherwise.